I'm sitting here at my desk, thinking about how monotonous and boring my job is. I spend all day hassling people for money they shouldn't have spent, intersected with speaking to people about how dumb it is to give your visa card details to web sites bragging about free offers. I mean, is there someone else out there who has to deal with worse?
Add to this stupid office politics, people who annoy me, the absence of a window in easy view and the fact it is getting to cold to eat my lunch outside...... ok so I'm whinging, but i just sit here getting angrier and angrier at the world till i leave. then all is ok, only to begin all over the next day. And why the fuck can't people spell my name properly!!!! And that fucking smelly tea is back, just to grind me even further.
But...there is an end in sight, in order to escape the mundane prison that is working life i have decided to produce a reality TV show in the vain of The Biggest Loser and Dance Your Ass Off. Yes, i have decided to sell my soul to the devil and jump on the trash TV bandwagon.
The show I envision will be called "The Biggest Gainer" and would entail 20 abnormally thin people fighting it out to gain the most weight over a 12 week period. Entrants would be divided into two teams, each with their own "trainer"...days would be spent "training" hard to put on the most weight possible through activities like drinking, hot dog eating contests, BBQ's, watching movies and other trashy reality type programs. I'm hoping to secure John Goodman & Roseanne Barr as my trainers. Not only do they both advocate unhealthy lifestyles and packing on the pounds, but due to previously history of working together there should be lots of room for some "quirky" anecdotes.
Temptation type challenges would be involved, maybe involving having to consume a number of diet pills to gain immunity or lifting boxes which may contain immunity or a feather which one must tickle their throat with supermodel style.
The winner would receive a cash prize of some sort and maybe a years supply of medical appointments and gym membership to lose the excess weight they just gained in pursuit of white trash fame.
Any interested applicants please apply in writing to
ihavenoshame@all.comIf you don't have internet access, ask the guy in the next trailer...he might
